The White Commentaries

Party on the Dark Side

There is a place I have been to many times, so much I can give you a firm layout. It's on a beach, and it's an open air bar. The framework is pale wood, like bamboo or pine. There are two or three bars and many twinkling lights; it's a very clean bar - not at all like any I've been to in the waking world. And always when I go, it's filled with people. There are a lot of people, as if there were some huge social function going on.

There is a deck that goes around the back of the bar, behind the enclosed part of the building. The deck can be reached from the open air parts, however. It overlooks the ocean, which is about an acre away. There are trees, too, so that you can see the waves crashing through the break. They twinkle deep blue in the moonlight sometimes.

Standing on the deck looking at the ocean, there is the beginnings of a boardwalk to your left. It's usually closed and locked, because no one is allowed to go down it. You can't reach the waves by walking across the yard, either. The yard is filled with deep roots and marsh. You'll get stuck trying to cross, especially in the dark. I know because that happened to me once.

I always want to go to that beach when I'm there, though. It's just where I prefer to be. You can tell it's a private beach. How peaceful it must be to walk on along that sand with the waves washing your toes.

But that is not where my dream journey began last night. No, it began in an apartment building on the second floor. The apartment I was in was empty and the walls were a pale yellow. There was a light brunette doctor there - maybe she's the one whose been with me since I came here to Louisiana. Maybe she dyed her hair. She had on her lab coat but did not hold her clipboard.

I was escorted into the room and stood with her near the center. There were a lot of other people there, but they were more background color to me. I was aware of them, I was aware of their movements. I didn't care to register them as more than "people in the room with me doing these things".

The doctor told me that the angels, both good and evil, had to come and convince me to choose between light and dark again. It was important for me to remember who I was. (Again with the remembering. As if it pays my bills or something.) She stepped back a few steps and the "angels" came at me.

As far as I was concerned, they were trying to kill me so as they came close I lashed out with my hands and killed them one by one. I was very methodical about it, and wasn't really there enough to remember more than the blood spraying everywhere.

After about twelve or so, the doctor told me that both Archangel Michael and Lucifer would approach me now. And from the wall before me a man did walk forward; a very very tall and skinny man with curly short brunette hair. As he approached I expected him to be the Archangel Michael but as he neared my psychic field I realized this was not the holy good person I should expect. He saw that my third eye was wide open and staring and he snorted derisively to himself, shaking his head a little - I realized that was actually a private reaction and I wasn't supposed to see it so I did not react.

As he got within two feet of me I became aware of a cloying scent about him. It wasn't anything I can place: not cologne, not decaying flesh, not fruit or meat or anything like that. It was actually confusing, this heavy musky scent that was just on the sweet side like a well made meat pudding. It was this scent that made me decide I had been approached by Lucifer - because demons, real demons, smell like death. But it was also confusing. I kept thinking he smelled like death, but I knew he didn't. I've smelled death. This was not the smell of death. It was a smell I knew, I just couldn't remember.

And I had a sense as if I was supposed to know him from previous times - I think this is the impression the doctor was trying to give me.

He took me to the bar, then. I can't remember the journey or what he said to me in the meantime, but I know things happened. My memory glosses over those part and skips to the bar, which was filled with people. I recognized every face I saw, held conversations with many people who always nodded cordially as if greeting me was expected. Some faces I thought I knew from jobs I held in the past, but these people weren't quite it. Most of them were young and Caucasian, although there was one brown woman with salon styled hair that held a conversation with me for a few minutes before taking her drink and moving on.

Lucifer came up to me after a while, just as I was turning to walk away from my spot and find something to do. We went to the deck out back to look at the waves, and he brought himself very close. He put his arms around me and bent down to bring me into an embrace. His nose nestled by my left ear.

I thought he was going to kiss me, and I was filled with a dark protective rage. With my right hand, I grabbed the top of his head and jerked him back by his hair. "I will kill you," I growled.

Patiently he let me do that and locked his brown eyes with mine. When he didn't move, I let him go. He talked to me in a matter-of-fact voice, but I just can't remember what he said. It was something about me remembering, about it being an innocent act, and some other things that suggested it had to be. I just can't remember, and it's frustrating. Whatever he said, I let him bend down again to wrap around me without moving.

He brought me into his chest then and pushed my head against him as if I were a small child. Surrounded by his arms and his scent, I realized how familiar this embrace was. "I remember this," I said. Trustingly I put my hands on his sides. I wasn't committing to a full embrace just yet, but the feeling of being back into this cocoon made me relax.

"Yes," he said. "And do you remember the feeling of my back against your hands?"

I place my hands fully on him then, with my right hand a little further onto his back. His back did feel familiar to me, and I said so.

We broke apart and he spoke with me, but now I can't remember. He wanted to live it up for the night. There was a party going on and it was our role to play it out. About two or three young women approached us, as if they were also there with Lucifer, and everyone started to get into the swing of things. I was forgotten for the moment, and that's when I noticed I was near the boardwalk's gate. I could see the waves in the distance.

For the first time, I decided I was going to that beach come hell or high water. And I jumped the gate. As I did so, I remember noticing for the first time that I was wearing a white cocktail dress. The cloth swirled over my legs as I easily jumped over - and my legs were thinner I also noticed. I was also shocked at how easy it was for me to do it. As if the gate weren't that tall or I was healthier.

I went down the boardwalk in the dark. In no time I was at that coveted beach. The waves moved in an out rather quickly, but it seemed natural to me. I remember as I got there, I bent to look at something in the sand. I looked back at the deck where I could see Lucifer and the others dancing. I wished they would join me - I guess because it would be nice to have someone share my interests.

On the waves were several dozen Cabbage Patch dolls, all moving in and out with the waves. They had been abandoned by their children, I knew, and my heart went out to them. I approached them.

There was on doll who was new. He had black curly hair. He approached me, but I can't remember what we talked about. I ended up holding him in my lap while I sang to the dolls. I told them how sorry I was, that they had been left behind. That I hoped their children would come back.

Then I put the doll down and started to take my walk.

When I woke up in bed after all that, my mind was filled with Lucifer's embrace and his cloying scent. And I have spent all day replaying the moment when I threatened his life - like an animal trainer with a frightened tiger, I realize he was. He handled me well.

My husband complained to me when he got up and someone had messed with his CPAP mask. That only happens to him when we go on a journey. I wonder what his was like.

Mongolia

This happened about a month ago.

I don't remember much of everything else that was going on because my consciousness was going in and out of focus. I'd dream I was going somewhere, then I'd be talking to people and not dreaming while still in the dream state. There was a group of people I was traveling with on the dream side. I remember a truck, that one was a blonde, and that we were tourists... and archaeologists. Or maybe just had an interest in archaeology.

But as is the way of things, "they" slapped a map on a table down in front of me - and the dream state went away. Came the type of focus I've heard others describe, where if you try to look at or pay attention to something outside of the intended field of scope things get blurry and your mind is herded by this narrow view back to where they want you. And I, when shown a map, will focus very keenly and it will become my entire universe. I'll be aware its just a map, but the hypnotized dream state side will fill in data, colors, and even moving pictures.

Coming out and in the waking world now, I never remember being told why I'm being shown a map. In the dreamstate, though, I know exactly what's needed of me. I'll pick out regions, spots, and places. I'll listen to the debriefings, or I'll say "so and so is located here" and point.

This time it was a debriefing. The map was in front of me, and it was a topography map I recall wide awake. I'm sure of it because the bumps and ridges of valleys and rivers were very plain to see. I would have been able to feel them if I'd been inclined to touch the map - I was inclined to put my hands at my sides and pay attention like a good little soldier instead I'm afraid.

It was a hilly country, with many minor valleys. I remember thinking how odd it was, this country, that it had two rivers along it's northern and southern borders. They were strange rivers because they didn't bend and twist the way rivers did.

I was told that there was a major archaeology expedition in the country's south, in a place called the Vou Valley to the southeast off the middle. The word "Vou" was pronounced so that the o and the u made a single sound.

When the discovery had been made, the country's government made people move out of their home for miles and miles. There weren't a lot of people living in that region anyway: just a few scattered homes and maybe a village or two. The discovery was called "The Monkey" and I got the impression that it was a tomb or treasure cache of some sort.

After the debriefing was over, I returned to the dream state in which I dreamed I and a small group of tourists walked a very narrow mountain crack path to get to the discovery. It was so narrow we had to wiggle single file.

The next day I was talking to a friend about it, and I got curious as to what I had been shown. I tried finding the valley first, but couldn't find anything. I knew the country was in the east, so I looked up China, Tibet... and then on a whim looked up Mongolia.

I had to laugh when I found a map. Those rivers weren't rivers at all. They were the border lines for the eastern half of the country. Which would place the discovery on the edge of the Gobi Desert.

Of course I haven't found any information on any discoveries there to date. It's hard to get archaeology information out of that side of the world, what with their closed information borders, communist policies and all.

The map is an open domain piece taken from the CIA World Factbook.

After the Dream.

Sometimes what happens to you "at work" affects you whether they try to keep you from feeling it or not.

Subject:	Dances With Archangels
Time:	10:42 am.
Mood:	depressed.

 Silver might melds into flesh in the form of longing dreams
"Come and visit me?" a soft whisper. "I come," the reply.
When morning breaks, all events fade save an impression
Arms and legs, the color red. A little bit more, his lover dies.

---

Yeah.. can't remember what it was about, but I'm sure it was better than yesterday's which I didn't post because it was x-rated. Now, mind you, x-rated is a good thing normally. It's just that I always end up watching everyone else. That's never fun.

Woke up sad this morning. Makes one wonder where they've been.

Dream

Subject:	The theme is getting old
Time:	2:17 pm.

Yes, I dreamed of the ex again last night. And it was another sappy moment, but thankfully I can't remember it today. *sigh* I miss the dreams I used to have where I was running from demons, fighting werewolves, or any number of interesting things.

So I shall post about my favorite astral fight instead:

T'was during the time of court when my shields were lowered and the whole universe finally figured out where I was.

Now, as I've said before, the problem with getting found when on the run is that a lot of people say, "Hey! She owes me money!!" and they tear holes in the fabric of time to get to your house and take debts out of your hide. I was fighting every brave upstart and ancient old fart from here until Sundry Tuesday.

One night as I stood in my living room just beside my body, I looked to my front door just as a traditional little bugger stepped through, as pretty as you please, without knocking. He wore the most elaborately embroidered kimono I've ever seen: red-orange with golden designs all over it. His hair was in a black little top not and the scabbard to his kitana, strapped to his left, was black and red.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

We bowed, he drew his kitana, and the fight began.

I awoke the next morning, memory-less, with face scratches, and wondering who won.

I still wanna know. I mean, it was probably him but c'mon!! Don't I get a slow mo' replay or something??

Planet of the Apes

Date and time: 2003-08-10 16:15:00
  
I don't think this dream was of any significance. It was ape planet scenario: humans enslaved or wild humans being hunted. I was a wild human that had learned to act enslaved so I wouldn't be killed. I was thinking of going into the trees and disappearing forever. There was a mall-like building we were in... I stayed up until after 2 putting things together and preparing to run. Humans were coming out during those hours because the enslavers (who wren't apes, they looked kinda human except their noses were ridged) slept no matter what.

I go through my dream journal a lot to see if I can find more clues, and there are a lot of entries that I dismiss as only dreams. But I see this dream now and I think, maybe it was important after all. I've had a lot of "training dreams" located in malls, but not watched a lot of movies that involve such scenarios. Hell, I never even saw my first mall until I was nearly 20 years old. I grew up in the country. Didn't go anywhere much.

But, I guess in this dreams case now that I look again, maybe it was only me filtering information into my mind. Which is what dreams are for. Nothing more than that.  

I probably will start listing dreams here whether they're important or not, just in case.

Crash and Burn

This is a post I'd put on an Otherkin board I was once a member of. I'd remembered the day very clearly - more clearly than usual. Of course these days I think there was more to the exercise than it seems and I might have found where it happened. But I'm not sure yet.

In the vision I'm not even a teenager yet - I'm at that age where you think you're 16 when you're probably under 12. Or maybe you're 12.

I'm not changing the original writing, but "Kray'ahagh" is actually "Craig" - it just seemed more alien to put it that way at the time... and at the time I was trying very hard to present my memories as something not human. Because I and the others I talked to had decided they weren't human memories. It had to make sense that way.

But his name is Craig, and Craig is someone that seems to have always done things with me. Just like there's a Paul in my subconscious. Craig and Paul.

Crash and Burn
_____________
You had a smile that lit your sleepy face, cracked your cheeks with sunshine. A voice of pure silver, you sang with your tiny instrument (enhanced by tech, made musical sounds yet to be here), violet in your vest, a young bard fresh on your own, taught me to sing...

I wept for you on that bridge as your body sunk beneath the water, your sash floating up with the bubbles, and I wore pale blue that day, velvety threads, fur around my face, it was cold, rain... a circlet of silver on my brow, searing from the cold, the tears burning my cheeks, my lashes wet and sticking together. Blood on the bridge, icicling down, rain, a vain attempt to hide the evidence.

Terror. You were my first... My first, but surely not my last, and I wept. I wept. I was afraid and you were gone.

Where is your heart? I put your heart in a book and never realized what I had done.

Again, I stand on the bridge although I remind myself I am in America, year of the millennium, and that was long ago and far away... but the memory is new, and surely I have not thought of it my entire time on this planet. And so I stand on the bridge trying to remember how it happened. Kray'ahagh helped me hide you, throw you over the rail. The child was silent and pale, my velvet was wet, I was cold, I was shivering and exhausted. I was never very good with weather magic. And you have sunk below the murky depths, the river flows serenely onward, I watch your sash flow out of sight. Kraig turns and stomps stomps away, his boots squelch in the mud. I am left alone to keep the tale. Shhh, child, its a secret...

Bangs dripping between my eyes. Cold.

Bell's Theorem

I just finished reading In Shadow by T.J. MacGregor. Good book! Talked a lot about Bell's Theorem in relation to possible proof of telepathy. I spent the entire NIGHT discussing formulae with myself while looking at a cubicle shelf filled with purple Vs made of round marble like dots (kind of like in Othello) and worrying about Bell's theorem. The Vs had everything to do with how things were connected, and they were pointed in different directions which, now that I'm awake, I realize they were pointing to the flows of how the pulses would go if you wanted to direct a thought somewhere or cause an earthquake. There were black squares where some of the cubicles were empty. There was another dream I had after the last time I woke up: I was watching Barry Manilow wear blue-purple, play the piano and sing on some old television show. I was there, on the set, close and watching as if no one knew I was there. The song he played was one of those love songs, and I remember sensing pain in his hands from being overworked and being concerned. But he sat there and played and smiled and it was like he was just fine. I watched his hands from a distance, at the complicated piano playing, and was simply awed. I woke up with "I Wrote the Songs" playing in my head, but that was not the song he played in my dream. I can't remember what he played now.

dream, milab

I'd slept all night, but today while trying to stay up and get work done I was hit with it: I had to sleep whether I liked it or not. And I couldn't focus on anything; kept wandering around the apartment. So I finally gave in. I dreamed of the compound. I wake up remembering it as if I'd always remembered it, but the dream was the first time I'd become aware I knew of it. There was a map of America, and there was a guy there. They're going to build over the compound. And I said to him that there was the compound. I pointed to the map and it zoomed in kind of like how Google Earth does and I showed him the overhang that masked the underground entrance. I panned the image around and I pointed to an area that used to be open dirt and I told him, See you can see where there used to be open space to park stuff. While I was doing that I was trying to figure out why the place looked so different from what I expected. And where the old shed had come from that was where a parking lot used to be. Another thing is the map was backward. The eastern seaboard was on the western side of the map... or ... something like that. I remember when I looked at the island peninsula of the spot I was remembering another map of the place, a place that showed a grid of rooms underground. They're laid out like graph paper.

dream

Two nights ago. It was a house in Florida. In my dream world it's set near the Springhill Baptist Church. I was there, and it was my house. There was a group of people there for some sort of gathering. I'd been worrying about the Medieval Mind (and amused at UFO sightings from that time period. The aliens sure were careless back then!) The part that's important is about the snakes. The people, I don't know who they were. I'd know their faces if saw them, but they're no one I know in real life. I can't remember all that was going on with them. But as I went through the house I thought about all the things I'd like to do to build it. There was a snake at the side door. At first he was there and I avoided him. But the last time he was there, he was eating another larger snake like in that story about Moses. I screamed, afraid - and I don't even know why. That's not scarey. And I went around it into the house, which was empty of furniture although it still had people there. A snake had gotten inside and was over an inside doorway, one of the ones with no door to go from room to room. I went to walk under it and it leapt at me. I turned and it got hold of the strands of my hair. I could feel it pulling. I woke up as I thought, "Wait, this is like the fourth or fifth time I've had this happen in this dream." Don't know who the warning was for, though.

dream

I was traveling the world again, in that place with trees and dirt roads. I can't remember everything aside from when I came to the giant church, like a Catholic church, in the woods that I've dreamed about so often. I went inside, but I can't remember the issue.. except that like always there were things inside there that thrived in the dark. You had to keep the candles lit to be safe. One small yellow candle could light the entire church as if it were a hundred lamps or more. At first though there was natural daylight coming in and lighting things through the stained glass windows. I never remember what the windows represent, now that I think about it. I just have an impression that parts of it are large blocks of amber glass. I walked down the aisle slightly with someone for something and turned. There was a woman on the entrance threshold who reminded me of Laura Croft. She kept doing fighting positions, different ones, and these were imprinted on these large banner sheets hanging down from the balcony. She'd move, stop, then move again. And 3D pictures of her were imprinted on these sheets almost like photographs, as she moved, getting angle to angle as if her structure were being memorized. You know like you would for a 3D prop or something of that nature. I can't remember her except she had dark hair like mine in a pony tail and a tan like I used to have. Much more fit than my flabby overweight self, that's for sure. And when I first saw it I was several pews away so the impressions were black silhouettes on the sheets. It wasn't until I walked closer, curious, that I saw the detail. Then she left by going out the front and I was alone in the church with the candles, which are always kept on a table behind the pews to the left of the entrance threshold as you enter. I had to keep them lit because the darkness brought the things - sometimes I think of them as demons but this time they were only a nameless source of fear - and I kept trying to light the candles so I could cross the room to the other table kept on the right as you enter. But the candles would not stay lit. I light a candle again for the last time and as it started to die I'd had enough. I'll get the flashlight from the other table, I decided as I pictures a large long flashlight my husband had given to me. Only it was a cheap plastic imitation of it. I started to cross the room in a hurry because the darkness was closing in. That's when the chittering came. I'm afraid of what's in the dark in real life much less this inner part of my mind, so I decided to turn and walk out of the church instead. I fumbled with the door handle and pulled it open and ran outside - and woke up. Two days ago. Last night was a night of tornados. I was at this old brown house and it was me, and the tornados were coming. At first I hid in the basement, but my cat went upstairs and I had to go get her. I got her but instead of going back down right away even though the tornado was on the house and I could hear it, I looked out the window. The things the tornado carried moved low and slow over us like some sluggish tide. I could see roots and weeds and dirt. It was so close I could grab it. I woke up this morning to the news that tornados hit NC last night pretty hard. I saw a photo: a brown house like the one I was in. Or what was left of it.

milab, alien, fort polk

Yesterday morning I woke up from a dream in which an alien had come down to take over the world, and I was all set to stop him. It wasn't a violent dream. In fact I handled the alien like I handle my husband: I simply reached up and took his glasses off. (My husband is all but blind.) And then we got into an argument over the evil powers that are taking over the country, and the alien accused me of wanting to surmise the order. I defended the situation and said that yes, I was aware of what was going on but people needed to realize that the situation could "still be stopped legally". It was just a dream, I'm sure of it. I'd got up with my husband when he went to jump and went back to bed. You know how dreams are: you pretty much make up what's happening as you go along and even will make up information. But even so, I woke up genuinely frightened of what I may have told the handlers - what were they thinking, and was I in trouble. It wasn't a nightmare fright when you wake up. It was the other kind of fear. Sometimes I think that the things around me are all in my head, and I'm trying to feel special about myself in some way. But if I'm making it up, why worry so much?

dream

We were magical creatures; I and those I was with. They weren't anyone I know in real life. And I was a queen, their queen, while at the same time there was a blonde queen. I, the dark one. She, the fair. There were rules, and orders, and a need to stay out of sight. And I, finding a hollow tree embedded in rock we could live and hide in. We were pregnant, both we queens, and I was in slow labor. I'm not sure about her. It was her they worried about the most. My daughter was there; she was the princess. She was going to school, but as our identities were hidden while we remained in exile no one knew what they had in their possession. And I felt that was best. But at the end of the dream, the fair one's feelings broke and she ran away. She ran so fast. I couldn't stand being left behind no more than I could stand being shut up, hidden, in that tree while soldiers looked for us day after day. So I ran after her. I'm a slow runner, and she left me behind. But I had an advantage. I knew the way, I knew the path she would take. When I lost sight of her cloak, I kept going. I would turn a corner and she would be there, resting against a tree, hiding behind a rock. So I kept running. We ran across a field to the wall edge of the thick black forest. I woke up before I reached those sheltering trees and freedom. Later there was a repeat dream about dragons in the sky, a long bridge over whatever, and dragons catching on fire while birds attacked them. Have had the dream before. Took pictures with my camera.

dream

Tonight I had a dream about a family with two children. Bits of what was happening to them came to me here and there. I have a faint memory of watching a man sit in a chair, burning alive. I was watching from the ceiling. And he just sat there. He'd set himself on fire with his mind somehow. The room was pretty barren and the chair had straps on it I *think*; it looked sort of like an electric chair. When the setting switched, there were these two boys - or perhaps a brother and sister - that were bike riding down a bike trail in the woods. There was a sign that said something like restricted area or something. I was standing there and saw them pop out racing; maybe running from something. There was a man in uniform standing there as if he'd expected them to come out there who told them, "We told you not to come this way" or something like that. I remember a flash of his dress blues out of the corner of my left eye. Then this dark-haired woman with her hair in layers came out of the trail on her bike. The children were stopped just a ways up the path and waiting. She looked at the man and did something with her eyes. The man began to vibrate so much you could see it, and it was killing him. So, she was using a sound weapon with her mind. I remember thinking, "What am I watching?" Then I remembered the man in the chair and I said, "Oh. I'm watching Firestarter." The mother killed the man and then told the children to ride, ride as far as they could. I could feel her grief. She was going to stay and face the music and let them kill her while her children get away. And the the setting switched. I was in the desert; there were a few ex-soldiers there. It was almost post-apocalyptic, like Mad Max or something, and there was one soldier with shaved hair. But I knew he would be blond. The boy came up to him; the boy was much older. I can't remember what was being talked about. I just knew that this man was the only one capable of raising the children well.

dream

It should be made to note that my husband called me after midnight on schedule. At about 02:30 hours I went upstairs to talk to him in the bedroom. I left the kitchen light on. I was already feeling creeped out by that point because the house had that "they're here" feeling. I never feel safe when that happens. This is why I consciously made a decision to leave the kitchen light on; as a night light. While talking to him in the bedroom I decided I wanted to go back downstairs for something. I opened the bedroom door to leave, and stopped. All of the lights were turned off. Stardrops was sleeping. I was the only one up. And I got creeped out even more. And maybe even a little frightened. When I hung up with him after 4 in the morning, I put the phone with the earbud still in it on the dresser. When I woke up in the morning, I felt nauseous and acid-mouthed. As I stood up to get moving for the day I noticed one of my cell phone charms was stuck to my nightgown. The phone was missing on the dresser. I had been sleeping on it. This is the 2nd time in the past 2 weeks I've woke up with my cell phone not in the way I put it when I went to sleep. I had a dream about a high electric fence, a place I'd been to before. Driving a car to leave something; some area where there were lots of people. And a crawldaddy. And clear water in a creek by the fence: perfectly clear water. And a shrine to "steffie" that looked very Hindu. At first I was going to rescue the dolls on the shrine because I thought they were abandoned until I noticed the shrine, so I began straightening it out as it was obviously a mess from a recent rain storm. The Indian family that owned it came walking up to help me. The crawldaddy I let go in the creek which was full of giant minnows. I bade it to live a full and happy life. Somehow there was another fish involved: a big ugly one in the tank I had the crawldaddy in. If I had decided to keep the crawldaddy the fish would have ate it, and that's one reason why I chose the creek. The crawldaddy wasn't mud colored because it had not been raised in muddy water. It was a light pale brown, almost flesh colored. I remember noticing that and how odd it was to me.

dream

I had a nightmare about a slave house, trying to escape, and the redhead that wanted freedom with me. I was in the house and I don't remember why. It was full of people, and I can't remember much except being aware that it was the Xmas season. Very briefly there was a movie star, but I'll talk about her later. She didn't get much air time in the beginning. I wandered to the back of the house and ended up in a room that was hidden from the rest. There was a guy in there who grabbed me and had me cornered. I screamed and cried for help, but no one in the house would come. I couldn't figure out why no one would help me. I can't remember how it happened after that... there was a redhead and she and I decided to escape together. She had long wavy hair. We got outside of the house and really didn't make as good an attempt as we could have, choosing to stand around. The slavers came in beat up old cars, coming home, and she wanted to stand there and stare at the headlights. I tried to hide at least and yelled at her to run or hide or something. She just stood there staring into the headlights. So we were caught again. Somehow it ended up that I was also a guy and not me? Anyway, I stepped outside of his body or something, or maybe was watching someone else. The girl was being hauled away and they had him in the back room. He said, "I don't care about any of this shit." And he/I was thinking, "I just want to go home." Everyone gasped as if to say, "You don't care about the environment?!?!" That kind of sentiment, and I thought it was silly considering they were the slavers. Turned out the reason why no one would help me is because the whole house was in on it. The crazy guy had some sort of machine gun, and in the dream I knew in a detailed way how they worked but damned if I could tell you how right now. The crazy guy put the gun to the man's throat, threatening him against escaping. I felt like he was bluffing, so the guy grabbed the gun's side and pulled this strange sliding mechanism to call the crazy guy's bluff. The gun went off, and the way machine guns do it moved on it's own because the crazy guy wasn't holding it very securely. At first I thought the bullets had maybe went past the one guy's head, but the gun had moved so that the bullets made a slash across his throat. There was blood everywhere and the guy was falling. The crazy guy was hit pretty bad on the head, too. But then again he was holding the gun *and* leaning against the crazy guy in some stupid comic book move. The bullets had somehow bounced and his hair was all matted with his own blood. And the, I didn't see it, but the one guy's head just fell off. It was on the floor. I don't remember what happened next, but somehow I was outside with the ringleader. She was a famous movie star, someone that reminded me of Angelia Landsbury. She owned the house and was the crazy guy's mother or some such relative. The redhead was sitting in a car crying. Her hair had been cut and restyled. It was chinlength now. She cried and cried. Her owners got into the back of the car to be driven away. I was at the passenger window. I said something... can't remember what... "you sure about this?" I think. She didn't answer. "Okay, "I said and backed away. They were driving slowly down the dirt road. The movie star and myself and I'm not sure who else were walking. Then this car starting coming down the road at us. As it got closer I realized it was full of skeletons. There were two adult skeletons in the front seat and in between them was that of a 10 year old girl. They were very very detailed: pieces I didn't even know I knew about. I started to hear the little girl's voice, 'Hi mommy I've brought my sister. Actually I've brought both of my sisters and we've come to take you away." The car swooped over the movie start and that's how they claimed her. I woke up at about that point.

vision

The other night I dreamed about having a red-headed baby. It was barely an hour old when it said to me, "Orchard." I said, "What?" "That man over there was trouble in the orchard." There were all sorts of people in the dream, so... okay. It was that man over there. I marvelled at my speaking baby while thinking of a local park called Crab Orchard. I was waking up this morning and thinking/talking to myself the way I do. The subject of a certain big project came up. I'm feeling a little tired of it all, so I announced, "Fuck it. I'm not doing it. I'm going to let Zorhan take care of it." Or maybe it was Zohan. Anyway, the word Zorhan (or Zohan but I think it was Zorhan) was in front of my face in all caps, in one of those bold plain fonts. The color of it was splattered with shots of red. Maybe it was a trigger word. Whatever the case, it woke me up. Who the hell is Zorhan??

dream

There have been dreams of late: the army picking me up and taking me to my flyfighter. They'd finally acquired it and needed me to look at it, presumably to tell them how some of the more complicated functions worked. I took off in it and led them a chase all over the world. I finally landed and let them catch up to me. There were rapist ape men. *sigh* And other nightmares.

dream

The old wive's tale is if you dream of a wedding, there will be a funeral. If you dream of death there will be a wedding. For me I dreamed of my grandmother having a fancy wedding and ascending a curved set of stairs when she went to get married. She died shortly after that. Last night I dreamed that my father announced he was dying. I was grief stricken and traveled a long way to see him. A wedding invitation arrived in the mail today.

dream, MILAB

Damn, this dream wasn't as good as it was supposed to feel and there's no one to share it with. One person is in bootcamp and the other two are stuck up their boyfriends' asses. -_- I knew (even though nothing around me looked like it) that this happened after the next fall of mankind. Mankind had been divided into two factions: my side and the other side. That's what I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. I lived on the island where there were other people, working cellphones, and other amenities that suggested my knowledge was in error. But I took such things for granted. Even though if you went beyond a certain zone in this world I was in, the cellphones and other such things would not work. There was an entire regiment of men who had come from another time, but they were all criminals. I remember stepping into someone else's head and going to them. They were sitting in rows, forced to sit that way, as they were guarded by giant robot looking men. Maybe men in suits of armor. Who can say. I asked to speak to the leader. The leader was a midget. I told them that I wanted to come to some sort of agreement with them that if they served I could get them more freedoms, but I had not spoken with the leader yet. I was only seeing what they could do at this stage and was making no promises. But... for some reason this was cut short and I can't remember how or why. I was no one higher up in this scenario, but I did have a team. I cannot remember who led the team or if I led the team or even if we had got together accidentally. We had a mission. We stole something of value, but now I cannot remember what it was. Or how we got it. I have vague impressions of a boat and that the item of value was of historical importance somehow. And it was not hard to steal it, either, because no one was expecting us to go for it. We just walked right in and got it, wherever it was. After we had the item, we went to the main place. I cannot tell you much about it. It's all vague, because it feels like this dream went on for a very very long time - not for days but certainly for 12 hours at least. The sun was up when we stole the artifact and the skies were very blue. I cannot tell you the time of day when we went to the building, because obviously we were in a building. We were ushered into a large room; I and the head of another team. I was starting to come out of it, I guess you could say, at this point. I was suddenly noticing that things weren't right even though I had taken everything for granted before. The others who came in with me sat down to wait, but I wondered if I could run out the door and escape. I started to stand up to see, but I heard the door lock. We were inside awaiting our audience with the big man whose name nor title I did not know. There was a little girl there who also was waiting. Maybe she was 6 or 7. You could tell she was going to be a dainty person, so she might even have been 8. She was a beautiful child. Her hair was long, like mine, but she was White so it was blond. There were curls around her face that were almost white, which only gave her an angelic appeal. Her skin was very pale and had a slight pink tinge to it. I cannot tell you the color of her eyes, but the shape of her face was heart shaped with a little button-like nose. She fainted suddenly, and a woman in a lab coat caught her. She was carried out of the large room we waiting in and laid down on, of all things, a bunch of boxes and equipment as if she were an after thought and would be collected later. The woman, who I vaguely thought was the child's mother even though she was dark and they looked nothing like each other, put an ear bud from an MP3 player into the child's ear and then turned to walk away. I stepped just beyond the door and asked in English and Sign Language, "Is she okay?"' The woman nodded and mumbled yes and shooed me back into the room. I can't remember much of the next part. There were two girls there and I can't remember if this was next or the end, but apparently they both had recently gotten married. The leader hugged them both and called them his married babies, so I'm guessing that was at the end of the dream because the leader had not arrived yet. So when people started coming to receive the leader, I noticed that they had thrown on jackets and hats over their regular clothes. I became worried because all I had was a plain black hat with no decoration, and I was the only one with that. The woman was at the door again so I asked her, "We have to wear red and blue for this, don't we?" I was worried. Centuries ago we wore red and blue with black if we were high ranking officers for the Adonai in the old empire. I was afraid I was standing in this situation again, and I did not want to be there. The woman did not answer. She went back out the door. Then everyone else came, and I have a vague sense that something else happened. But I'm not sure what. The leader arrived, wearing a business suit and a red and blue military-looking jacket. I remember the red trim. He was somewhere near his fifties with grey hair and a potbelly. He walked into the room and stood by the giant window in the large room. There were steps in the room; like a rise in the middle of the room. Everyone else lined up on it and stood with their hands clasped behind their backs like we used to do centuries ago. Because I was no longer with the groove of this dream scenario, I watched everyone and imitated them. I also looked at their arms because there was a part of me making sure they were doing it right. I knew how to do it, so did not worry about that part. When I found my place and stood, the leader took a few steps. This made everyone else change positions. They started walking in a circle around him going clockwise. I followed, wondering what in the hell, as the leader said, "I created this room to be like it used to be, but also so that if you were to die in here the last words you would see were those written on the wall." But there were no words on any wall, but I did not say anything. Something knew that I had to be utterly and completely quiet and not slip up here. But after making a full circle around the leader, I realized that everyone else was doing it because they didn't know where to stop. I knew that someone had to stop and look like they knew what they were doing, so I did. I stood with my back to the wall that had the door and clicked my heels together, standing at attention. Everyone else followed suit, so that we made a circle around the leader. But I can't remember what happened next. There was something, also, about making a bed for the girl child. People were coming into the room and pouring bubble gum on the floor, and she was going to sleep on that I thought. It was a colorful little area they were making, like what you see in nurseries today. But now that I'm awake I'm wondering if it weren't packing peanuts and not bubblegum for some reason. And for some odd reason the leader was sitting on the bubblegum to talk to us and we were sitting cross-legged around him. I wish I could remember. I didn't wake up until after noon even though I went to bed early.