And the Rocks Cried Out (and Creeped Me Out)

I once went to one of those weekend spiritual gathers. I had hit a strange bout of insomnia before it so by the time I got to the gather I was pretty sleep deprived. I drove up from Florida, exploring along the way.

Two weeks of not sleeping. I was the first one to arrive. I stepped out of my car, put my left foot on earth at the spiritual grounds, and was greeted with a very loud "You're here!!!!" from everything nearby. It was like the rocks practically shouted. (No the rocks didn't shout.)

I spent the next several days being stared at and poked at by every spiritual anything in the area.

I couldn't go anywhere down a path without everything lining up along the side like they were watching the Queen of England go by. They grouped in sizes according to day, too, starting with the little folk and ending with tall ones that loomed over me like trees in the end. And the last few days were spent with me standing in the middle of the water hole as far from land as I could get while watching spiders, dozens and dozens of spiders, climb the rocks to try to get close to me. I mean I was inspected by *everything*.

I was kind of keeping to myself about it for a while. Even if I didn't think I was imagining it, there are just some things you get used to I guess? Getting stared at a lot, even if it had never been quite like that before. Then one of the volunteers, who had just got into voudoin and accepted her spirits into herself, tricked me into her camp to interrogate me all night long. It was like here we go talk talk talk, BTW what ARE you? Everything here is so excited to see you and I want to know what the hell is going on.

I never gave her a straight answer because I wasn't sure myself back then. I told her to ask them what the hell, and she said they're confused. They're saying they have never seen anything like you before. At the time I took that to be slightly disappointing (it would have been nice to know what they saw). I also felt and now even more realize, wait a minute. If they recognized me when I got there then why are they confused and wotnot? Something doesn't add up, unless volunteer was lying or being lied to.

And I don't remember most of the conversation at all. The only part that is clear is when I happened to look around into the night and saw one of the leaf elves off in a guarding position - which is what they do, and no I couldn't tell you what kind of alien they are or what they are - and then it took a draft on a cigarette. My mind was utterly blown, and I went off at the volunteer for a while freaking out because this elf wasn't being all Tolkien at me. It was smoking a cigarette while eavesdropping from about a dozen or more feet away, and that was just so... mortal.

After the talk, the peeping died down (although the spiders did have to take their shot and did) and then the gather was over. I forget where up North it was. I can't remember but I think that was also the year I was given that dream by Hubbard or whichever writer that was.

I was driving home and was just north of Kingsland, Georgia when it hit me while crossing over a bridge. Someone had decided to pull me out of body. It was so strong I couldn't fight it. I pulled over just in time at the bottom edge of the little bridge onto the grass and passed out.

I opened my eyes in the middle of a ritual fire pit and looked up while the volunteer, the gather leader, and a third man stared at me. I can't tell if you if they tried commands or what they were after. I can only tell you it almost killed me.

I woke up in a few hours and went on home. Confronted the leader about it but he denied it indirectly.

I also believe one of the group members who had died just before the gather was using me to channel. I kept hounding this one girl to say things to her even though I didn't know her (she was close to him), and I couldn't control these feelings of abandonment and being left out when people did things like a memorial and I wasn't invited because I didn't know the dragon. Things just kept coming out of my mouth and I had no control. I had gotten some sleep by then, so it wasn't sleep dep. I mean as soon as I set up camp I could finally rest. The sleep dep was over.


As a result of this being used like that I made a complete ass of myself.

So I also took on a new rule. My body. Go get your own, dammit. I've been pretty adamant about that rule. I can channel just like Hollywood, but... no. People are assholes and they don't like to get permission. It's not fair to anyone when that happens.

Ramiel Nagel On How To Reverse Root Canals, Cavities, Gum Disease & Tooth Decay Naturally

And then ....

Before bed I rewatched an old lecture by Dr. Karla Turner. I firmly believe in her philosophy, and she was very good at uncovering information and asking questions no one else seems to want to approach. She had a good way of putting things, too, that kept you alert through her lectures. So I rewatched to refresh my memory, and my husband watched with me even though he truly couldn't care less one way or the other.

In the middle of the night I woke up with that invaded feeling you get when you're either being picked up or dropped off. It didn't feel like I had been asleep for more than an hour. I turned my head to look to my right and saw the little 3 foot tall black shadow. As my eyes adjusted, I felt a realization in the room that I could see it. And the black lump in the semi-dark winked out of sight.

I sat up. My husband mumbled, "Where are you going?"

"There's something in the room with us," I said. Yes, I was a little afraid. I hate nights like that. You'd think after a literal lifetime of it, you'd get used to it. But I guess I never will.

My husband lay in bed still as stone, unresponsive. After a moment I was able to go back to sleep again. When I mentioned the event to my husband tonight, he was noncommittal about the affair. I don't believe he'll ever take this matter as seriously as it should be taken.

I did wonder if Dr. Turner's lecture hadn't made me imagine the whole thing.

The session with Dorica Manu was hard to do, and that's a fact. I don't feel like going through the entire affair: most of it was keeping up the visualization of a talk show host room with a door and a mirror. Mirrors are damn hard to visualize because, to me, they're portals. Which means if I make one in my head, I'm making things that go with it. But I did this in order to call forth my soul, then spirit, then mind.

Interestingly, the technique we did - which is supposed to help me mold back into a single being with my memories intact - is very close to the technique I've been doing off and on while working out on the treadmill or taking a walk for a couple of years now. It's very effective. So I let Miss Manu guide me along and tried not to skip ahead. I tried to be patient when she didn't agree with something one of my inner parts said. I figure: she's been doing this with a lot of people and knows what she's doing.

My soul wouldn't come to the session, although I called with all my might. When she did show up, she was very misshapen and ugly. She was as tall as a building with knobs under her skin like huge calcium deposits or witch carbuncles. Her hair was stringy, and she wore Xena's outfit from that old show.

I won't come because I'm UGLY, she said - and that summed up my entire life. I'd been told I was ugly by everyone at school for 12 years. I was told that by my own mother, by my cousins, my mother's sister, random people at the mall. Either I'm strikingly beautiful or I'm strikingly ugly. Only once was I ever considered plain, and the man who called me that meant it to abuse and hurt so I will never know if he told the truth. He probably lied.

 Calling my spirit was more difficult. What I finally got was a mute pale and beautiful version of me. She wore flowing pale robes and had white hair. At some point Dorica had said something about my body or... something... but whatever the statement, my spirit's response was to point out that we trade bodies like snails to a shell. Dorica did not agree with it - and at this stage who can say which is which?

The third was the hardest: she wanted my mind. All of the dozens and dozens of spirits who'd stood outside the room waiting for their turn laughed. They were ALL my mind, and that was indeed funny. This was something else Dorica didn't seem to get quite - and as I ushered everyone into this room I'd created I wondered if it was because there's something else she knows that I don't or because she's never worked with a butterfly before?

We managed to get a few to merge, and they turned into a woman of fire. The woman then proceeded to make it a point to stand practically on top of me - and that's when I could hear what was going on in the room better. I couldn't before: I'm not clairaudient. I noticed the change, but I said nothing. I wasn't sure how the observation would be received.

When it was over, Dorica said there was more work to be done and mentioned she didn't quite believe the matter of the soul - cut herself off before she could finish. And I was left wondering: so... does she believe aliens made all that up I just went through, or that I made it up, that I'm lying to myself, what?

And, because the instinct is deep inside of me, I wondered what I had to say to convince her I was telling the truth so we could carry on and get the job done. Or at least to make her happy so we could do more. I didn't go for it, of course.

It's just too early to say anything one way or the other. But I know she's genuinely trying to help me - without shoving religion down my throat.

Jaded in Jacksonville 14

Ever wonder about what you're here to do on this Earth? Just what is your role? What are all our roles? Okay, yeah, I'm not claiming to have the answers. A wise man is a man who never claims to be wise,. =^-^= But I do give a clue on how to find the answers within yourself in this particular vlog. As well, Choshu discusses her role with the Council on High (Intergalactic Federation or Council of Light or whatever it's being called this month) while we see some nifty footage of the Buddha Temple in Tampa, Florida.

 

Jaded in Jacksonville 12

Okay so in this blog I talk a few minutes about one of the departments with the Council on High. Then I talk about Lyrian (and Intergalactic history) while making references to Narnia. Because I'm clever like that.