Saturday, March 3, 2007
My nights are usually spent in "council", which is to stay talking and debating and discussing with old men or things like that. Usually the same old men, sometimes the full blown monty. I never remember the discussions, though, just know they happened. Sometimes I can be lucid enough to remember other things that have happened. The result is that I rarely dream. So last night I dreamed. And sitting here to type it to you, I have no effing clue what happened. But you guys - this board and others - I'm sure you were involved. So I will tell it to you. It was a dream within a dream, I know that much. I can't remember the dream inside, though. It was something about knowing what was going to happen: calling for some revolution, and knowing what was going to happen to me as I took my parts in the web. The setting was a different world than this one - also a rare thing for me. I never do that. But the animals were animals that don't exist here, and the political climate was not the United States. It was a repressed world; freedom? What was that. And I was there as a person who even looked different, being dark of hair and eye, surrounded by light browns and blonds. Loose shirts; cuts that haven't existed since before Ancient China. Whites and tans; dye was not a common thing. And the buildings were different; like giant leen-tos and sheds. The cities had conclaves and stone structures, but I lived in the country at my parents' house. But I had no parents. I don't know who was the uncle-figure that was with me. In real life I have no such person. There were horse-like creatures, too. Something happened with one of them, but I don't remember what. And we were travelling, my "uncle" and I after the dream with these creatures. A wagon; I have a faint memory of one of those. So there I was at home (it was in the same place as my parent's house today, its just everything was different), and officials came. They were in black uniform - very high-necked Chinese - with red lining and other details. They wanted the invention we were building in the backyard by the shed. I forget what it was called, but this was very important. I even had the letters fly in front o fmy eyes when I heard what it was, in order to rememgber, but now I can't. Somethin glike a "superconductor" or "supertransmitter" or something like that. I go back there and I broke it; shattered it into pieces. And this boy that was with me, had been with me, was dismayed to learn that I was building it, that I knew how. He never thought I was smart, you see... and I'd wanted to keep it a secret. So ther I was with this smashed playstation ii looking thing, telling myself I was going to have to start all over. The officials were not happy and stayed. 3 woman stayed, as well, as I pretended to be dumb and took a bath and felt annoyed at their invasive presence. There was a scene somewhere in there when the peole who had been helping with the supertransmitter thing were there in the shed after I'd smashed it. I looked at them, and I said, "Who here wants the return of the Republic?" They shouted and raised their fists and were very excited. The boy came to me, "Shush!" because the officials, if they heard me, would tak eme away. I looked at him and said, "I dont' care" and continued to shout to the people. I told them about my dream - this culture took dreams even more seriously than here - and said that I knew what was going to happen. That one woman was going to sacrifice herself for the sake of the Republic. Tears were in the listesner's eyes, and I was filled with guilt because I was lying. Oh, yes, a person was going to lead them in revolution - and I knew this person might win - but I had seen no sacrifice. I can't understand why I had lied, though. It was not necessary. So then the people decided to go to the beach for now and I went back to the house and returned to appearing dumb. I took a bath and the tub was filled with dirty dishes. Or maybe it was a giant dual sink, because I was moving the dishes around to sit in it. Or maybe I was veyr small - which happens a lot in my dreams.