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Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Before I dreamed, I fell asleep while on the phone with my husband. I've never done anything like that before. I woke up to his voice, "Hellooo.. anybody there?" The dream happened after we hung up, though. I was at Saraen's house, only it was very small, and one of her ex-boyfriends was there. He wanted to learn how to be Otherkin. And even though I don't believe in that anymore, especially in light of the things I know now, I ordered Saraen to get "the bottle of wine we had" so we could sit down, share drinks, and teach the lad. There were ice cube trays... well, I mistook them for ice cube trays. They were shaped funny, actually. I banged them on the counter the way I do hard, but the ice wouldn't come (the way it does). And I talked to him while waiting for Saraen, who never came back. She did... something... not sure what... to piss me off. I banged the trays harder and yelled, ranted, raved. I am an emotional person, but I think upon retrospect I was being unreasonable. After a while Saraen came back, hugged me and said "I"m sorry'... but she was 15 years younger than in real life here. Not quite her. Her hair was short, too. I'm not sure what the hell. And in another part of the dream, I'd gotten some ice out of the trays and was arranging it on the counter. They were long shapes and small round shapes... all gray. The tray, the ice, all gray. Like slate or marble. The trays are shaped like: http://mahajarabali.livejournal.com/541465.html

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Jaded in Jacksonville 20

Another episode as I chronicle my journey into MKultra and the various weird things in my life.

This time: black princess programming, a monologue about villain lairs, and (in part two) tips on how to know if the researcher/counselor you are considering is a good one.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

vision, milab

Laying down to take a nap, I began my foray with wonderments of what my personal codes are. Which lead to me having a dream of listening to "the other voices" debate on the matter. They wanted their codes. They wanted to merge. They wanted freedom to walk in the light. Looney Tune type images flashed in front of me while one talked. She was wanting get her codes She stated what she wanted. And as she spoke, I saw an animal's tail (anthromorphic like Daffy Duck). And his tail was ripped off to show the nekkid nub. And a man's voice said, "I'm not going to show you."