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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Reverse Speech and my story

I stumbled upon reverse speech last night due to an interview with Peggy Kane. Apparently when we talk, we subconsciously speak messages to ourselves that can be heard when playing things backwards. I've read a few things by other people that confirms that they, at least, believe it. Apparently the information coming out backwards is consistent from person to person. No one contradicts the other. This was a bit of a scandal in the 80's I recall with demonic messages in albums and other bs.

Thing is, Peggy Kane had a bit of a scandal because of it. The reverse speech messages began to indicate that the reptilians were going to jump ship, as it were, and leave the place blazing in their wake. It didn't happen and she was discredited. But I think about it, and how she found out her spirit guides and other things were lying to her by using this medium and I wonder... what if they figured out she was doing this and used reverse speech to lie to her? It can happen.

 Either way I thought I'd give it a go on my own. Without knowing the science whatsoever. LOL.

 I have Audacity, which is a free software for recording so I can play with making music from time to time. I loaded it up and recorded myself just talking at random. The message inside was "Lousiana's". I happen to be in Louisiana right now.

So I recorded myself reading the story from the previous post. I didn't stick completely with the script because, by talking, I was able to add some details and wotnot. Then I reversed the audio and slowed it down some.

What I got was:

 "really..." during the part that reads: "So I went to Heaven after I had been nearly created. And I served The Lord. Who was at the bad end of a coup. And watched as everyone was put to death, one by one, until I feared for my life enough to run. Because of everyone there, I had managed to retain individual thought. Which, I might add, my first handler prized in me. I'm not sure why."

 "Hell no" during the part that reads: "Why *would* anyone believe a Butterfly who remembers these things, when we've been told to see things not as they really are?"

Kinda weird. There were other parts that almost sounded like words but I wasn't sure. And I'm not sure what it means, if I really believe this story or I was being skeptical at myself with... oh really now... or what. So the story remains a suspect tale in my head, possibly fiction, and I will continue with part two next week. If I remember to I'll also reverse speech it, see what it says.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Memories vs. Coincidence - my first mission

I have this hazy memory. It's one of those that I've always associated with "past life" material, and even though I never thought it was connected to another "past life" material pocket in my mind I have to wonder. In fact it's one of the many things in my head I poke at, wondering if I made it up. It's important to make sure you haven't made anything up.

The time line is that Kausha - the original me, the perfect hybrid created artificially in a Blue Valley on a planet many light years from now on the other side of a black hole - was lonely. Her planet had been hazed and almost everyone had been rounded up for slavery by the attackers. This was when the united peace that was a universal wide empire fell. She had lived at the capital.

So she lived there on this abandoned, lost world with only a few things to keep her company. The loneliness drove her mad, so she put herself into a deep sleep and sent her soul forth to find company. While floating in the upper realms, there was a giant creature that many would call God. It took notice of her and swallowed her in order to make it part of it's own kingdom.

Not to die, but to be remade into one of it's many clones. But she valued her individuality very much. She knew she was unique, for all there had been five of her at her cloning... she was the only survivor. So she begged for the being to please not take that away from her. He took pity on her tears and let her keep her identity, but he had to change her a little bit... so he changed her just enough so that she could survive in his "Heaven."

She mostly ran errands in Heaven. There was a team of five others she was attached to. They were a lot older than her and more viewed her as an annoying little sister. "The Team of Light" they were called; Lightbringers. Or at least, that's the best way I can describe the pictures in my head.

There was one being who did not like the way things were being run, so a rebellion was planned. She learned of this rebellion and went to the Being and asked him if it was okay if she joined the other side. He said yes.

Why she asked, or why it was brought up I can't say. Maybe she was spying. Maybe she was just so obedient she had to ask for permission to do such a thing. Either way, there was a battle. It was short, and she was on the sidelines for most of it. And it was over. Tables were turned and the "red one" had managed to gain the upper hand.

So he lined up everyone who had ever followed him. Her team as well. She stood on the far end - to the right of the line - and watched as each person was approached. "I order you to die." And they obediently did, one by one.

So she ran. She ran and ran and ran. She leaped from Heaven, back into the aether, flying with the wings the Being had given her. She ran until she came to Earth and hid in a body that was not her own.

But most things are metaphor when describing how things happened, keeping in mind that much of what happens to a Butterfly is done under a hypnotic state. We interpret things with visual references, and we even replace real things with dreams. One exercise I distinctly remember from only about five years ago had me on an island serving a dictator. I knew I was on an island, and I was to enact certain behavior around the handler who was being the dictator. But while this was happening, I was also aware that items in the hallway I was to take to be equipment were really cardboard boxes with peanuts.

There was a young blond girl who was in the exercise with me. I remember her because - as happens often when subjects are too young in these exercises - she passed out mid-action. Well, having been a parent my instincts to protect were strong so I followed the doctors when they picked up her limp body and carried her into the hall. I watched as a lady doctor put music headphones on the girl's head after she had been laid on one of the boxes of peanuts. The doctor saw me watching and asked if everything was okay. I knew if I let on that I could see what was really happening I was in trouble so I just asked if the soldier would live, listened to the planned reply, and went back to the exercise.

A couple of days later I was at a gas station in the back woods near my home. The girl was there with her family. She saw me, I saw her. She jumped into my car - excited - and said, "Hi!"

I wanted to say hi back, but... I had to look at her and say, "Honey, you don't know me."

She jumped immediately back to her family. And I've wondered about her ever since.

Why *would* anyone believe a Butterfly who remembers these things, when we've been told to see things not as they really are?

So I went to Heaven after I had been nearly created. And I served The Lord. Who was at the bad end of a coup. And watched as everyone was put to death, one by one, until I feared for my life enough to run. Because of everyone there, I had managed to retain individual thought. Which, I might add, my first handler prized in me. I'm not sure why.

The surroundings of that memory are full of smoke, clouds, and there's just nothing there. So. Maybe it didn't happen. Who knows.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A Book I Found.

Autobiography by a former underage sex slave

By Niiles Punkari

Incest, forced prostitution, insanity, alcoholism, violence and submission, all in the heart of the Swedish welfare state. After a brutal childhood Niiles Punkari begins a journey towards some form of recovery. It is a journey full of mistakes which are depicted in explicit details, a style which is compensated with intellectual mediation in the most awkward spots - so humor exist also. More

Nonfiction » Biography » Autobiographies & Memoirs

Monday, February 10, 2014

Interesting event happened today.

I received an email inviting me to interview for some sort of Experiencer group TV thingie. I'm not sure what the project is myself. They said, "Our (name deleted) team and television production are looking for fellow experiencers who would like to share their extraterrestrial encounters with our team for on-camera investigation and research. Each member of our team and production crew is involved with ongoing alien encounters, so no one has ever assembled a better group to seek out answers to the alien phenomenon. (Name deleted) was created after my alien visitors told me to seek out those like myself and then look within. Our cosmic scavenger-hunt has begun."

It took me a while to decide what I was going to do. I was tempted, but weighing my options and my past ... experience (for lack of a better term) I decided best not. So I sat down to decline. I did it as gracefully as I could, taking time off from work to explain why. This is what I wrote, taking out some names to protect folks:

"Hi there and thank you for contacting me.I'd love to help you out, but I've learned a horrible lesson. The minute I do anything UFO related under my real persona, for some reason it's like no one notices I'm there. Or I get called a liar. Or researchers like yourself take what they want and then dump me like a bad girlfriend. All of this is very emotionally draining and painful, and I've gotten pretty jaded in regards to those who claim they want to help. It's pretty consistent they don't. The last MUFON researcher I bothered with, well. Let's just say he wanted fame, which he got, and when I stopped playing ball he dumped me. Meanwhile his partner treated me like I didn't have the right to learn or know anything but it was perfectly okay for him and his cousin to use me to learn how to astral travel and do things his cousin ended up abusing in an unethical way. And being attached to this stuff was actually hurting my author career - which is weird because so many big names are doing okay being attached - so it's like an identity crisis version of the Alien Lovebite. And it's frustrating to sit and listen to people talk about things you relate to but the minute you open your mouth everything goes sour, no matter how nice and accommodating you try to be. Can't even get memberships in forums....But my point is, I'm not up to another episode where I get used, dried up, and thrown away. I get attached to people and I'm tired of being used.

I'd love to help you on a research basis, because that would help me, but I don't have the resources... and I'm sure I'm not sexy, witty, young or thin enough to help out. =^-^= So what I will do is give you the link to (my) free book. It's a simple account. There's nothing unusual in it, and it's not complete because I can only work on it here and there. But there it is. Maybe there's something in it you can use"


I figured from here I'd never hear from them again, but they gave me a prompt reply before the day was over. When I saw the email in my box, I was actually surprised to see it. For a fleeting moment, I naively thought to myself that maybe they were interested in creating a real support bond, something that would let me participate. This is what I got:

Just so you know I'm not a researcher, I'm an Experiencer and have been my entire life.  It's sad that you judge me without ever talking with me and my work has always been about supporting fellow Experiencers and creating ongoing relationships.  Anyway this is the reality you've created in your imagination and I'm not here to force anyone to share their experiences.  So sad that you judge...

Wow. Just. Wow. "On-camera investigation and research" = researcher. Maybe I shouldn't have over explained. But on the other hand, maybe he shouldn't have assumed. And furthermore: he's "not here to force anyone to share" wtf?!?! I could have sworn I shared by linking him to a book that is my experiences that he could have for FREE. I wonder if he even gave it a chance.

And thinking further, that entire email was me sharing an experience. Isn't that what the fuck he asked for? If he wants to bond people together, he needs to learn to deal with the damage other jerks have done. I'm not the only one that has been kicked around, although I'm probably the most vocal.

My response: You weren't being judged. I'm just tired and worn out. There were key phrases in that message such as "anything UFO related" which means "anything beyond researchers". Also not once did I call you a researcher. I just stated the last researcher I dealt with did those things. 

So sad you're more worried about how someone may or may not be judging you versus when they open up and share the very pain you claim to want to experience with and help.  You could have handled my message, really the entire situation, better. Glad I've developed the habit of putting things on the table to see how people really are. I didn't judge you. But it's interesting how you turn it around to judge me. But, that is that.

Ha, I just checked. Mercury is in retrograde. Go figure. Well. Good luck to you. 


Upon re-reading I do see where I called him a researcher. Shoot. So I shot another email: Okay I see where I called you a researcher. Sorry if I got that wrong. You approached me like one. However, the rest of what I have to say still stands. Apologies. Moving along, good luck. I won't email you again.

I've been through I think 20 people, looking for a way to get answers? And that's just in my later adult life. They weren't all researchers, but they all did end up being bad for me whether they meant it or not. I've been used, lied to, manipulated, had my programming tampered with, thrown out on my ear, and lost my children. Damn this shit, if I'm going to worry about this guy who can't even read a letter straight. If he misunderstands my initial contact, I can't imagine how bad he'll do with anything else I have to say.

Just checked. Mercury is in retrograde, and that isn't helping I'm sure. Man I hate it when Mercury is in retrograde. I've been getting bs like that over what seems to me to be clear statements all week.