Thursday, January 12, 2012
I was traveling the world again, in that place with trees and dirt roads. I can't remember everything aside from when I came to the giant church, like a Catholic church, in the woods that I've dreamed about so often. I went inside, but I can't remember the issue.. except that like always there were things inside there that thrived in the dark. You had to keep the candles lit to be safe. One small yellow candle could light the entire church as if it were a hundred lamps or more. At first though there was natural daylight coming in and lighting things through the stained glass windows. I never remember what the windows represent, now that I think about it. I just have an impression that parts of it are large blocks of amber glass. I walked down the aisle slightly with someone for something and turned. There was a woman on the entrance threshold who reminded me of Laura Croft. She kept doing fighting positions, different ones, and these were imprinted on these large banner sheets hanging down from the balcony. She'd move, stop, then move again. And 3D pictures of her were imprinted on these sheets almost like photographs, as she moved, getting angle to angle as if her structure were being memorized. You know like you would for a 3D prop or something of that nature. I can't remember her except she had dark hair like mine in a pony tail and a tan like I used to have. Much more fit than my flabby overweight self, that's for sure. And when I first saw it I was several pews away so the impressions were black silhouettes on the sheets. It wasn't until I walked closer, curious, that I saw the detail. Then she left by going out the front and I was alone in the church with the candles, which are always kept on a table behind the pews to the left of the entrance threshold as you enter. I had to keep them lit because the darkness brought the things - sometimes I think of them as demons but this time they were only a nameless source of fear - and I kept trying to light the candles so I could cross the room to the other table kept on the right as you enter. But the candles would not stay lit. I light a candle again for the last time and as it started to die I'd had enough. I'll get the flashlight from the other table, I decided as I pictures a large long flashlight my husband had given to me. Only it was a cheap plastic imitation of it. I started to cross the room in a hurry because the darkness was closing in. That's when the chittering came. I'm afraid of what's in the dark in real life much less this inner part of my mind, so I decided to turn and walk out of the church instead. I fumbled with the door handle and pulled it open and ran outside - and woke up. Two days ago. Last night was a night of tornados. I was at this old brown house and it was me, and the tornados were coming. At first I hid in the basement, but my cat went upstairs and I had to go get her. I got her but instead of going back down right away even though the tornado was on the house and I could hear it, I looked out the window. The things the tornado carried moved low and slow over us like some sluggish tide. I could see roots and weeds and dirt. It was so close I could grab it. I woke up this morning to the news that tornados hit NC last night pretty hard. I saw a photo: a brown house like the one I was in. Or what was left of it.