Home * About * Subscribe by Kindle
_____________________________________________
Writers of the Apocalypse * My Music
_____________________________________________

Thursday, January 8, 2009

dream

I just woke up from this one. I haven't dreamed that I was a sacrifice for anything in a very long time, but I did this time. And like all of the other times, the realization came upon me in horror as events that I had been warned against played themselves out one by one. So I was young in this dream, and I had my cellphone that I had now. So perhaps that was me playing out how I feel inside, who knows. But I wore a white dress or skirt, just like the last "holy" dream that I had. I knew my hair was black. I was very conscious of it. I can't remember who I was with now, but it was an older male in his 20's or 30's who was trying to help me in my quest to find something. All I know about before the dream began or somehow at the very beginning of the dream is that I had inherited a weird little clay vase and a silver sword with a golden handle. The vase, now that I'm awake and can remember it clearly, had ridges on it from being spun by hand on a potter's wheel. The side was stamped with a tiny picture of the sword and, by that, a tiny fish. It seems there might also have been a heart... or I mistook the fish for a heart and then realized it was a fish... that part of my memory is a little garbled. Overall the vase itself looked like an artifact for archeology and nothing modern at all. The sword was a simple broad sword type, but light and easy to carry. It had been very well taken care of and was very shiny, much like my astral "Truth" is. Come to think of it, the same colors too... except Truth's handle and guard are a .. no wait.... both are the simple cross-shape. But it seems to me that the sword in this dream was plainer, albeit just as mirror shiny. These two objects were my clues, I thought, to find something. And somehow I came to the big dark castle with my older friend. And I can't remember how this part played out at all... but he was telling me about how there was a movie producer out there and somehow he used to be in contact with that movie producer. The movie producer had something to do with the weather... and as I drew pictures of the castle on the outside the guy told me about how he would follow the wind patterns and the movie producer would also report them... and he'd say to the producer, "See? You and I are looking for the same thing. And I'm telling you that it's right here. Look at how the winds always go around this spot. You've been watching that too, so you know." But the movie producer would always deny that he was looking. This irritated my friend a lot, that he had been blown off. Somehow in the castle my sword fell down a story and it broke in half. That's how I remember how shiny it was because I remember watching it fall and break. But after that event I didn't worry about the sword so much anymore. I was more preoccupied with being in the castle and looking for things, I guess. There was another person who entered the dream briefly... I think? He might have been my friend and just changed roles, too. But this time it was an older guy in his 40's or 50's, and he had been a knight or something... he was a dark guy with a big nose. Looked like that old guy from the Record of Lodoss War, and I kind of knew it later in the dream but right about here the dream took on a video game quality for whatever reason. And then there was a tiny model of the castle, and it was a Templar castle. I was looking at it and I realized that part of the castle looked like the outside of the vase, and it was also stamped with the fish and sword in the exact same way. So I ripped apart the model, which was made to come apart, and looked at the room it contained. The inside of that room was painted with a large red cross, and there was a picture or a doll (I can't remember which) of a priest in blue and white at an altar. There was another part I had ripped off before that, but I can't really remember what I found underneath it. And somehow at this time I wasn't worried about my broken sword anymore because I had become convinced that I was *looking* for the sword on the vase as part of the quest. It was at this point that between what my friend was saying and everything else, I realized that I wasn't looking for anything. I was looking for an *event*, but I can't remember what tipped me off. It was something my friend said. It had to do with the 11 o'clock hour. I clutched his chest because I was suddenly terrified and I said, "I've been trying to keep things from getting to the 11 o'clock hour my entire life!" because in that moment I realized that the reason I'd been feeling that way was because I had always known what was to happen. And at that point my friend disappeared on me. I'm not sure how. And the movie producer had come to the castle. He was a dark, devil man. I can't explain him any better, and I don't normally go for evil because I don't believe in such necessarily... but he was dark. And evil looking... like a Disney movie evil dark man... Hunchback of Notre Dame's dark magistrate turned to real life. I think his eyes were even red, and if they weren't they gave off an aura as such. And the knight friend who might have been my friend (not that I'm thinking, I think they were the same) suddenly obeyed his wishes although he didn't want to. I was confused about this at first as the knight lit candles and prepared to sacrifice me, his little friend. But I did not fight or try to run away. I'm not sure why. There were three girls that also entered the dream somehow. One was a good friend of mine who always had had a beautiful voice and knew it. She was a little vain about it. In real life I'm the vain one so your guess is as good as mine on who she was. This girl also had long hair, but the dark brown and not true black (like mine is). She had a round face. She entered the dream first, but I can't remember at which point. It was at some weird point after I tore apart the castle. She was really into video games and tended to make references to them a lot. We spoke a little bit, but the evil guy was in a hurry to begin the ceremony. So we were in the room that was shown to me in the castle; inside the grail. And I stood there in this dark place with no knight to protect me anymore. (He was gone.) The "magistrate" (as I think I will call him) had found four places up on the wall with seats for people kind of like a choir spot, but each spot was separated so it also looked like a window... ... and now that I'm considering this I'm also reminded of Himmler's secret ceremony room in the bottom of that castle for some odd reason... From left to right the seating order was the singing friend, who was very into opera too I should mention, the magistrate, a two girls I did not know: a nerd girl and an Oriental one. The nerd girl was also dark of hair... so that means that we all four of us girls were dark brunettes. The ceremony began and the friend girl had to start first. She chose to interpret her part as opera, and she chose music from Final Fantasy VII. She even announced it as she began. As I stood there watching this, I considered that she had done a clever job of trying to shake things up so that I would not be sacrificed. Or maybe I was hoping. But at any rate, the magistrate was not bothered by this interpretation of her role as if it did not matter. She sang and sang and sang, and I stood there considering that perhaps for my shake up I would start singing "Lilium" from Elfen Lied. My friend's voice was tired and she was raspy in some parts, and I considered her vanity. And for some reason I remember a legend about how I had the sweetest voice of all, and I felt that it had come my time to show it for some reason. Even though I was standing there as a sacrifice waiting to die or whatever happens to a sacrifice in these things. -_- There was a pause in the girl's singing. I took a breath to begin, but I was interrupted again by more singing. Also there was music playing from somewhere. I'm not sure where this song came from, but it was another FFVII song. The Oriental girl looked very uncomfortable, and I felt bad for her. So I encouraged her to dance and have fun. I was also thinking that this would destroy the ceremony, but the magistrate was unbothered by this either. I was gratified to see the Oriental girl smile, though. Then the magistrate interrupted the ceremony and said that there was somewhere we had to go but we would need socks for it. We'll have to go to Walmart. "I don't want to go," I said because I knew I'd have to buy socks, and I didn't want to go to Walmart. The magistrate said, "Very well. Just don't go to any other buildings while I'm gone. This includes the hospital." So he and the girls left to wherever they were going and I was alone in the castle, thinking I was a prisoner. As I walked down the hall to my bedroom I saw a servant woman? maybe? And the knight. But I ignored them as I played with my cellphone, trying to find someone to call. My husband's friend, Simon, was on the list. So I phoned him. As the phone rang I could hear his thoughts. It was like he, too, was waiting and had been waiting. And I had a feeling as if he had been my friend in the beginning of the dream maybe. I'm not sure... But he kept saying, "I'm going to just sit here and look to the east. I'm just going to continue to sit here and look to the east...." over and over again. The knight friend, who had changed appearance again at this point, took my phone. I can't remember why, but I think it was because we were talking. Or... he was text messaging? Or I saw through a vision that on Simon's phone I was recorded as something game-ish instead of my name with a picture... but anyway I took the information as that they were making fun of me. "I'm going to die and you guys are making fun of me!" I blurted out in tears and went to my room. And the rest is a blur to the point that I can't remember it at all. I was waking up at that point, I know, because I started to control the dream by manipulating getting someone to call and save me. But of course no one called. And my hair, as I did things, had turned to blue. But I forget from what.