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Saturday, December 18, 2004

dream

It started with me and Pixie driving around. We were in one of those places in my dream world again: the woodsie mountainy part with the swingset I call Canada. Something about the United States had driven us up there, finally, but it was at my suggestion. There was a playground with people.. this part is sketchy.. Rachel was there, so I swung next to her, trying to include her. But then I was home again, and Pixie was there. He was living with me?? in my bedroom, but he snuck out the backdoor just as I did to take a walk. Only he wasn't taking a walk, he was dressed in black and carrying a backpack. I asked him if he was leaving or some such, but he ignored me. Don't ignore me! It's not like I don't konw what yo'ure up to! SoI went back inside to grab this things. I told him I was throwing all of his belongings onto the lawn, that I knew he and Rachel had gotten a place together and he was leaving me completely. When I got to my bedroom, all of his things were already gone except for four items: an ashtray and a couple of other things. They were all black. So I carried them out - they were slightly heavy being marble - and I threw them at him. I was so angry at him and so hurt. There was a grey looking bus/car (sort of like the one me and the Jack caught in our dream in the car trap), and it stopped to pick him up. Yeah, I told him, I knew he and Rachel had gotten a place together. What's wrong with that? he asked me defensively. In that moment, I had a sense of gaining my true form. It wasn't something I did consciously so much as I just kinda knew that I was a teeny little blue-black streaky haired elf-thing with furious violet eyes. For one thing, I lost a couple of inches in height and my rage and injustice mounted. I jabbed my finger at the Pixie, hitting his left shoulder and cried, "What's wrong?!? You promised that when you got her, you wouldn't do this to me! That's what's wrong! You promised!!" After that is kinda hazy... I woke up... thinking yeah. He did promise. Just like all the others.