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Sunday, January 2, 2005


The bear is back again. It's smaller, but it's still brown. It still lurks. I'm awake at 3:3:20 am because it just tried to take my other daughter. I had a soul daughter once. That's the way I like to put it - the result of my tryst with a succubus was born "astrally" one night. I didn't even know what was going on. I was 14. But the men in black suits took her from me - I named her Jennifer - and I spent the next several years in the dream world trying to steal her back. The bear would come and drive me away. It was a ferocious bear. And like my wedding dream, the child in my night world grew and grew. The last time I saw her, she was about 14. Blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. She looked just like her father. I've been dreaming of camping. Or at least, I was tonight. And being alone, wanting a sexual companion perhaps. Not fantasizing, just feeling without. And my daughter approaching my tent. Three times tonight, three different dreams, I had to shout for my daughter to run into my tent before the bear got her. The bear only appeared when she walked into the scene. She'd stand there and stare at it, and it stared back. I was afraid. I'd have to shout, "MOVE!" just like in real life to get the child to obey. And the bear wouldn't try to get us in our tent, although in real life it would. This last time I couldn't fall back asleep. I wake up in anguish, usually. This time was compounded by the bear. So the bear is back again, this time for the other daughter.