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Thursday, September 26, 2013

another letter I sent out.

Dr. Hall,

I've had your research (rather: the situation) brought to my attention numerous times over the past several years or so, even to the point that I (an ebook formatter) formatted a book written by a TI who seemed very friendly and open to educating... until I got too close and she kind of exploded on me. I would like to read your book, but the truth is in my situation (and others like me) we are kept so impoverished we have to work long hours and reading is a thing of the past. I tried to see if you had your book available in audio so I could listen to it while I work (I work at home) but no luck. I hope you manage to get it into audio someday.

I have a question for you if you don't mind my asking and taking a moment to answer (if you get this). I am a MILAB, and it's thanks to my husband's research that I learned that what little I do remember of my night time excursions as a child match some of the old MKultra training. The old training from before they learned you could induce the mind trauma quickly and cheaper through hypnosis and implanted memories.

I have this problem where I'm not really allowed to have too many people close to me. I've literally watched the more stubborn people grow paranoid and fearful over time, and the more they fought to stay in my life the worse things got until one day they would leave in a traumatic and painful affair. When I was younger, I had several people who were interested in doing things with me come a day later and tell me "their spirit guides" had told them to leave and have nothing to do with me. I had one boyfriend get abducted with me and was just horrified by what he seemed to remember but would not share. I've watched people's faces as, while they're talking to me, their thoughts literally shift and they create a distance. That's enough in a nutshell, but there are a lot of examples. They're not all spiritual related. It has happened at schools, at home, wherever. It doesn't matter.

When I was much younger my own "spirits" told me I had to be separate, that I was an untouchable and an example. And it's been a long life of loneliness and pain... and yes even suicide attempts. It will ebb and flow depending on my activities, but even when I try to run by moving it stays on my back like white on rice.

Now I know that 40 years of this leads to a jaded personality and the inability to trust, so these days some of the issues are mine. I know that I have negative moments. I know if I start to share what has happened to me people sometimes burst into tears, as if those tears could somehow make it all go away. But sir, I have contacted every UFO and MILAB researcher there is in my quest for the truth and a desperate leap to try to get the help I need. In literally each and every contact, something has happened and contact has been cut. Some wouldn't get involved because I wouldn't accept Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. One's wife died and he just... went away... One experienced financial ruin. I had a psychiatrist hang up on me, I had another tell me I was a "garden variety" nervous wreck after only one visit and that I had nothing to worry about. Don't get me started on the very traumatic time I managed to save enough money to get hypnotherapy done. Eve Lorgen, who managed to keep talking to me the longest, faded herself out... I can only guess that she decided I wasn't good for her. I do have to tread carefully around people. I don't know why but when I'm talking, people get hurt. And I honestly don't know why... because my account of being captured by Greys can't be any different than the other abductee's account. Yet somehow my stories alienate people, and usually the alienation happens as if someone just flipped a switch.

I try to make contact with others like me: I have tried to establish numerous support groups in the interest of being some sort of positive mote in this. I have had take overs, push outs, petty politics, and the most recent time a man who called himself Iron Buddha came to my meetings, told everyone he was a government employee, and proceeded to use careful phrasings to discourage people (while supposedly encouraging them) and bust the group apart. I could be paranoid. I could be crazy - my little brother hears voices and didn't make it out of the abuse the way I did - but after 50 or so tries to create ties you begin to wonder if it's not you.

This brings me to my question. Have you come across anyone that is in a similar situation like me that is being targeted by the mind control rays? Is it possible they also use this technology to keep slaves in check and isolated, to keep the herd in their respective pens as it were? What if that's how this technology was originally used and why it was originally put into place and now that we have these young little turds taking the place of everyone that's retiring, we have this rampant sexual abuse problem?

I'm not saying that this would be the only way to keep your slaves in control, but with MKultra I've noticed that really it's a matter of handler preference coupled with strategic choices and a variety of techniques - which make things slightly harder to track you have to admit. So on top of suicide programming and a host of other things... there is this as well?

And is there any legitimate way to line the walls of your bedroom to protect your family? Lately there have been other problems happening around here. Just the other day in the hall I was on the phone talking to the only contact I have left and hit someone with my backside. I turn around and there was no one there. I wasn't near the wall. And it felt like flesh. I felt them bump slightly, as if they just didn't move out of the way fast enough. And that's just one thing.

The part of me that knows things - the part that will ponder why the air around a Beamship is thick enough to grab or knows about the black goo that drips off of American personal spacecraft that just reentered the atmosphere - says to me that this is not 100% me. That yes, part of it is an attempt to keep me isolated from everyone else. But am I just being crazy like my little brother?

I hope you can give me some answers.

Thank you,

Blue